Earlier last week (Monday), I had a pretty tough morning getting my kids ready and drove them to school. they literally cried and screamed all the way that I shed a few tears because of the mundane Monday morning struggles and how mentally exhausted I am to face the drama again and again and again. It’s always a little tougher on Mondays, same old, same old. Then I read a blogpost I wrote a year ago on how the mundane routine is normal for us all, (My Dear Motherhood Knight) i feel happy again. I hope the blogpost restores your faith in motherhood as it did to me! Well at least for a little while.
As I’m writing this, I’m screaming to my kids, who are having the best time of their day showering in the bathtub, to not play with the toilet brush. They enjoy scrubbing the soap scum surrounding it probably because they kinda frequently see me doing it, but mine has always been without the fun part of course. That’s just how easy to keep them kids occupied and happy. Give them some brushes and shower foam and a boring shower time has magically turned into a water theme park.
And this brought me to realise that the normal days are what making us real moms. The early morning wake ups to keep up with the laundry, the trash, the cooking, the stacking cooked meals in the freezer for a week worth of meals, the sticky floor from last night’s spilled milk, are all part and parcel of motherhood. They are the fundamental elements of motherhood that we didn’t really look into until we became a mother. And just like most mothers, I too, didn’t know what I signed up for until I actually bid my singlehood farewell. So if you’re confounded by the perplexing job of motherhood, worry not because we all are going through the same and I am here to let you know that we can all relate to one another.
There are times when you don’t feel like you can hold on any longer, that you kinda have lost all your patience and perseverance in dealing with the fighting over the crayons, that you feel like starting your engine and head straight to your favourite coffee house but you can’t do so because you’re surrounded by kids who just pooped on the floor. So please allow me to remind myself before you to keep going with the mundane routine.
To keep breathing in and out,
To tell your brain, to tell your pounding heart to stay calm,
To try again and again to get reconnected to God, so you can ask Him to grant you patience.
And most importantly, to keep confining your mind from thinking the negatives. Just stop right there. Stop. I’m the queen of negative thoughts moms, tell me about it. I know how hard it is to stay positive all day long especially when you have to deal with the tantrums from your toddlers who wanted to drink chocolate milk late at night when it’s already bedtime. And I am writing this to tell myself to keep my head high.
Anyway, I just started Iqraa’ session with my eldest daughter and as expected, it’s not easy even to make her sit still for five minutes, let alone to focus on the aa, baa, taa. But I’ve been able to SLOWLY, really SLOWLY develop my patience. All praises to Allah for that 20 minutes of me staying put with her jumping and playing around making me look insane talking to myself. But just as I was happy that I have taught myself what patience means, everything went wrong again. I screamed, I yelled, I scold them for making things hard for me with their tantrums and fights.
I guess patience is also like faith that goes up and down. Because the devils won’t stop whispering to lead us astray.
So I have to remind myself that I will make it through although I don’t really have any idea how long these struggles will stay. Well at least the thought of a mug of iced coffee awaits me tomorrow morning is already soothing! I’m proud to say that I look forward for another day to sip my favourite cuppa and yes, that’s my motivation for the mundane routine.
So what about you? What are the things that keep you going in motherhood? Could it be the lamb briyani at your workplace? Or the nasi lemak at the warong near to your apartment? Share your thoughts in the comments below and I’d love to read them. Who knows you can give me a new idea or two?