Potty training (mental) readiness for PARENTS

I’m not talking about the technicality of potty training. You can simply google them up and answers will be laid before you in no time. Some people suggest for scheduled toilet time,  every 15 minutes,  30 minutes, or 1 hour.  Some others on the other hand posit that parents should go with the flow along the process, while keeping their eyes on their child’s cues.

But at the end of the day, to each parents and guardians, their own. And in this post I’d like to draw your attention on the less talked about matters in potty training your child; the mental preparation for parents to be exact. No one should dictate your choice of means and time to potty training your child and instead of being drowned in the puzzling world of determining if you’re ready for this stage of parenthood,  you might want to read some realities about it. This post is to help you start doing homework about yourself.

Parents and guardians, please consider all this:

1. With various ways to train your child, I’d say,  have it your way.  You decide what works for your family after considering your capacity and patience level.

2. Be prepared to have your house in huge mess from the toys,  the poops and the faecal puddle.

3. Having to deal with this situation for days, probably up to a week or two can be mentally challenging and physically demanding.

4. Especially for those who take the state of their house seriously. This is when you should practise being blinded from seeing the mess.

5. This is also,  maybe,  just maybe, the right time to decline visitors,  meet ups and catch ups at your place, if potty training is a little occupying to handle. Just so you don’t have to worry about being judged.

6. Taking your child to the toilet at certain time interval is no doubt taxing,  especially when they start to dawdle or show power struggle.

6. Since they might feel overwhelmed with the constant visit to the washroom.

“Toilet again?!”

“Didn’t I just pee?!”

“No more toilet please. I’m colouring!”

“I don’t want to go to the toilet!”

7. And then they pee in the living room, testing your faith to the next level.

8. So to keep a healthy mind over the whole mission, it’s better to lower your expectations.

9. If they say potty training can be completed in 3, 5, or 7 days, that might not be the case for you because every child differs. And just to add from a friend,while the first week of potty training is only an introductory, it may take weeks, months or even a year from them to solidify the skills depending on the child.

10. Because they have never ever controlled their gall bladder all their lives so having low or feasible anticipation would reduce your chances of being upset should your child do not meet your expectation.

11. Since it takes two to tango,  potty training needs mutual consent between you and your spouse.  If one is not ready,  then that’s okay to give yourselves a little more time.

12. Because the training regime can strain the relationship between you. And that’s a serious matter in every marriage.

13. Straining from what you’re asking? The toilet visits,  the cleaning of the ‘accidents’,  the midnight wake ups to take your child to pee,  the bed wetting.  They are all going to test your love to each other to a whole new level.

14. That is why they always say that Patience is the main engine of potty training and I’m not in a any way close to that.

15. If you’re not ready for this, then that’s totally okay. Yes, seriously.

16. Don’t feel intimidated with the Pinterest updates on your friend’s girl who potty trained for only 48 hours and it all turned out magically fine. Because there ain’t such thing.

17. We all know that it takes tonnes of courage, discipline and perseverance from both parents

18. Take it easy to teach a toddler/pre-schooler about his/her own anatomy and how the bowel functions. Just as you teach them to use a spoon. It’s a WHOLE NEW THING for them.
19. Once they get the hang of it,  you’ll be amazed to see how God created their brains to learn and practise new life skills.
20. And truth be told,  patience has never been my virtues over the years of motherhood and let alone potty training. And I’m not ashamed to pen this down because I believe there are thousands of other mothers out there who need someone to say,  ‘Carry on tough moms.  Nevermind the yelling and frustration because that’s what making us normal.  We ain’t saint’

I am NOT YOUR PARENTING EXPERT.  I still have loads to learn. But I felt called to share my thoughts here because someone needs to speak out about the plain truth in potty training your child. Since people have been sharing tips and tricks of the training regime making it sound easy, I need to say the opposite just so you don’t end up frustrated like me before. I googled a (freaking) lot on this topic and was ‘deluded’ that it can be done 3 days.  Yeah right.  I forgot that my kids aren’t machines so I got upset when things went awry.

Parents and guardians, I only want you to avoid my mistakes. Some have their parents (the child’s grandparents) to handle the job,  while others can leave it to the teachers.  Our situations vary,  so it’s best to not compare.  HEALTHIER in fact.  But if you’re doing it yourselves,  all I can say is, be prepared for this messy journey.

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2 thoughts on “Potty training (mental) readiness for PARENTS

  1. Eli syazwani says:

    Omg. I already starting to love u and your writings. Im new in motherhood. Also struggle with parenting and lots of zillion things bout taking care of a child. Almost got post-partum depression. Your writing really inspire me and thanks for sharing your motherhood experience.

    • Zayana Yusof says:

      Hi there Eli syazwani, thanks heaps for dropping by. Im sorry to hear your predicament but just so you know, that i’m still there, because nothing have changed much. I’m even taking a break from blogging and social media because i find it hard to pull myself together. Hope my sharing thus far eases your struggle,in a way or two.

      Mom hugs,
      Zayana Yusof

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