Motherhood : Don’t underestimate the extent of the challenge

Don’t mind the girls. This is actually one of the best ways to keep them occupied so I could catch a nap
I recently wrote a piece to ZCOOP Malaysia (a digital magazine of ZALORA) since I’m a contributing writer there. And I received a response from my best friend that never ever came across my mind. My article made her shed tears! God I didn’t know how my writing could touch one’s heart this deep. And worse, I didn’t know she’s been going through some rough patches despite our quite frequent meet ups. 
Check this out guys; 
The conversation didn’t stop there, it went on until I started digging in into her real problems and one of them being motherhood. Specifically, the guilt of having to leave behind her kid for work but she enjoys the freedom at the same time. The shame of being fierce to everyone in the house, complaining about how tiring her life is, the arguments with spouse over petty matters and kids and the list goes on. 
Sounds familiar, no? Even on the midnight dispute on who’s going to make milk for the baby that both you and your spouse raise voice to each other. Remember those moments?  
Yes, it does because this is the reality behind the perfectly filtered motherhood poses on instagram. This is the truth that one has to experience in motherhood. The things that don’t always have much spot on social media and the issues that we don’t always talk about. 
Why? 
Because we are ashamed of putting it forward and admit that life is taking so much from us. We are hesitant to permit others to help us out and we only choose to hide the struggles so that we look normal just like everyone else. Be real mothers. The time, materials and efforts that we need to provide for our family is exasperating to a point that we feel neglected. Because everyone is working so hard to make a living that we forgot to be a happy wife and friend and colleague. 
Be honest to yourself mothers, 
Listen to your heart, that you need help. You need to talk to someone and figure out ways to get out of your miserable life. 
And to the expecting mothers, I always have to say this that my writing does not mean to scare you. Far it is to deny your rights of having kids. Rather, I am only trying to provide some insights on how the reality is going to look like, now please take note of the midnight quarrel about changing diaper and making milk because that’s totally normal in couples with infants. So be prepared mentally, physically and spiritually that your relationship will be challenged in numerous ways.

So talk to your husband as frequent as possible about your plans from A to Z about life at postpartum and moving forward. The roles, the duties, the who’s-in charge-of-what kinda stuff. 

I hope this helps you a little. I hope this brings you at ease. Because remember, we too deserve some love, tender and care

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