The other day I shed tears while sending text massages to my husband. I told him that I’m really stressed out with my girls. They are normal, growing up well Alhamdulillah and it’s just me having a hard time coping with their pace. Silly me. I know I should just be grateful that my kids are doing great. But this is where my problem lies, within me.
Husband acknowledged that he didn’t need to say much because I already understand the hadeeth and Quran verses about the rewards that await mothers and all other ways to develop positive thinking. It’s moments like this when I only need a pair of ears (or in this case eyes) to just LISTEN to me.
And having that said, I feel sorry for him too, for having to handle the kids AND me at the same time. When the kids cry or throw tantrums, he doesn’t just have to cool them down, but he also has to deal with this Mak Gajah! God, please forgive me for being such a jerk to him. And husband if you’re reading this, I just want you to know that you’re super awesome!
Okay back to the story, our conversation on WhatsApp didn’t do really well. We stopped somewhere in the middle and that was probably a good way to keep things cool. And then I thought, hey probably I should learn to practise living one day at a time. Because knowing that I usually feel overwhelmed when the thought of having to care for my kids for the next 10-15 years came across my mind, I must take control of it.
I must learn to live probably, quarter-day at a time. By this I mean, I have to set short-term goals to remain calm when dealing with the girls in the morning until I drop them off at school.
Life during the day is usually fun with me either studying or blogging and meeting my colleagues at office. And as evening approaches, I have to learn to control my emotions and anger for the next few hours until they doze off. And at midnight, if they ever wake me up, I’m going to be composed, and practise patience.
I don’t have to shout, scream and whine. I’m only going to close my eyes and take some good deep breath. Yes I will.
Man this is really baby steps to a happy motherhood. I have tried this for probably two weeks. There were times when I won and there were also times when things went awry. All I’m saying is that mothers out there, don’t give up just yet.
Don’t dwell on your failures (that you thought). Instead, work things out because even the smallest effort counts. It helps to improve your relationship with your spouse, your kids, your colleagues and your performance at work.
Now I’m not saying this because my life is perfect. You have, in fact, read my struggles for the past few years!
I’m only penning this so I could see things better.
I could dive into my real problems, acknowledge them, try to figure out solutions and execute them.
Appreciate yourself mothers, your life is as equally important as everyone else’s.