|This is SO me. Laptop, (milk) coffee, and some surface to scribble
My blogging journey dated back in 2008, right after SPM to be exact. I had been eyeing on setting up a blogpost account for myself since I was in school but decided to defer that until SPM was over. And guess what, this account didn’t have a good start. I actually set it up and posted my first entry to “fire” back at my dad. We had a miscommunication on a pretty big matter to me, as a teenager. But being me, the good daughter who doesn’t rebut (well, most of the time), I kept quiet to what he said but I still needed a place to let it all out. Hence, this account.
The blog’s name was Suka Hati (2008-2010). Literally implying my frustration to my dad, because I was in the sate of “Ehh suka hati Yanalah!” but I was in the I-can’t-really-say-that-in-front-of-him kind of situation, you see. I’m the “Good Girl” in the family while my two elder sisters are hard-headed.
Then in late 2010, I deleted all my posts, because I wanted to start anew. What a shame. I should have just changed the url and still keep the old blog in this account. I was only 20, I didn’t know any better. The name was “Investing In The Hereafter” because that was when I started joining usrah and truly realised that this worldly life is temporary hence we should live to invest for our great beyond that is eternal. You see, from a frustrated teenage girl to a saint young adult, people change across time and place! Also, I was in New Zealand during that time, for my degree programme so the pathetic fallacy did take its toll on my blog.
Came home for good in late 2012, got married, got pregnant, started working and life was a little too much to handle that I kept quiet for one and a half years. I don’t know, coping with the changes was quite difficult and I thought I don’t deserve a room to say good because of my topsy-turvy life.
Then in May 2014, I decided to re-brand my blog again but this time I was a little clever than before because I changed the url. Thus, ZAYANA YUSOF- Motherhood? I Find It Pretty Tough was born because motherhood IS tough and I needed a place (again) to express my feelings. And I aimed to do so in the manner that motivates myself and others. Alhamdulillah, ZAYANA YUSOF is still here, standing strong despite some hurdles and contemplation.
And I’d love to say this again, that this blog doesn’t necessarily portray my personal life. Instead, it came from a composition of personal experience, readings and sharing from friends. The struggles, the ideas and thoughts are all a compilation of real hiccups and glories in motherhood and marriage. And I will keep writing, God Willing, to reach to more mothers and ladies out there, to let you know that you are not alone in this journey.
I aspire to let more mothers know that we all go through similar struggles and for that reason, love yourself. Spare the rod and indulge yourself with some good me-time over coffee. Yes, zikir, solat and Qur’an recitation should go on as usual. But remember that you deserve to be loved at least by yourself. So don’t waste time thinking on how bad your day has been or how much you have mothered for the day. Rather, think about your little accomplishment and hey, read some good blogs just like the one you currently are!
|The very low amount of posts between 2014-2016 also speaks my struggles with Postpartum Depression (PPD). You see, being depressed made me feel useless that there’s no point blogging because I thought I was a jerk
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