I haven’t been writing much this month mainly because I’ve been pretty occupied with my dad. He slipped and fell in the kitchen and broke his thigh bone. For a 66-year-old grandpa, it saddened us siblings to see him in pain. But things had been great after he was done with the operation to place screws and plates to tackle the fractured bone.
Dad is all good now. Improving well despite needing a walking frame to move around. He’s going to use it for the next 4 weeks. And then he could use a walking stick for another 6 weeks before he’ll be able to walk perfectly again.
His inner strength marvels me. I mean, that dude didn’t show any sign of regret, despair, sorrow, distress, nothing. All that he ever uttered were,
‘It’ s okay. This is all from Allah’
‘If He said be it, then be it’
So that brought me to realise that hey, try to accept everything that happened to us be it good or bad. This is redha.
Accept that life is different now.
Try to accept that motherhood is about constant giving.
Give your very best to accept that yes, it does make you feel lonely talking to your baby who only looks back at you not knowing how to reciprocate.
But you might not know what to expect and how much to accept in motherhood until you become one.
So here’s my take about the things to expect in motherhood.
1. Pregnancy is different from each mom
2. So don’t belittle others or compare your story with theirs
3. If you feel great about pregnancy, others might have been puking for the whole 9 months
4. Parents with newborn are also known as Pak Guard and Mak Guard because of the midnight feeding and staying up all night
5. People will say a lot of things about your parenting style
6. You can’t hit the pause button but you can ignore them
7. If you could, breastfeed your baby
8. But the journey isn’t that easy. You gotta stick to your pumping schedule to maintain your milk supply
9. At work, you might be pumping in isolation; store, prayer room, warehouse, if the company doesn’t provide a proper place for moms, that is.
10. But you might be joining the akak-akak in the prayer room so it wouldn’t be that lonely. Good for you.
11. You will have to always check on your stock, the frozen and chilled ones, making sure they are enough for your little baby.
12. KPI at workplace for working moms? What. Is. That?
13. Getting ready for an outing takes a little longer than before.
14. Just when your are ready to hit the road, your baby pooped.
15. So you gotta fold your sleeves and text your friend that you’re going to be late.
16. Stains, snot and mucus on your shoulders are NORMAL ladies. NORMAL.
17. For that reason, you might want to reconsider buying expensive tudung and shawls.
18. Handbags are meant for your baby’s diaper, feeding bottle, wet wipes, extra clothes and a whole lot of other things you could think of.
19. But as time passes by, you only bring one extra diaper and that should be fine. Hehe. You’ll get there sweet first-time moms.
20. Dating and alone time with your spouse? You gotta consciously make effort for that now.
21. Yes, life is different honey but you’ll get the hang of it insha Allah. Keep yourself close to your peeps and don’t let your emotions control you.
We all have distinct stories from one another because God tests us differently. Embrace our diversity in parenting. Embrace our different struggles because what’s more important is that we support and keep praying for each other.
Hang in there, ladies.
I’m still tryna figure out my life too.