Postpartum depression has been taking its toll on me for three years and it doesn’t only affect myself but the people around me especially my little family. So i’ll just dive straight in to the topic.
The three major signs indicating that my state of mind isn’t healthy are these:
1. I feel that life isn’t worth living
2. Waking up feeling like I should have died in my sleep last night.
3. I regret every single thing that happened to me since I left university
These are basically the “attacks” that I get every now and then. It used to be about 5 days a week, then it reduced to once a week and eventually once a month. Each time I feel overwhelmed, I’d thought about dying. I’d rather die in my sleep than waking up to my kids.
I know this doesn’t make sense but believe me, depression is real. Even when they say my babies’ face is soothing, yes they are, but I can’t stop my mind from being carried away with such negative thoughts.
But don’t worry for I am still able to control my emotions from causing fatal harm to my kids. I’m at the stage where I can still be left alone with my kifs and I don’t need another adult to be with me. It’s just that i’m…mentally overwhelmed?
I’m very much fine now, thanks to my medication, supportive husband, family n friends, and helpful psychiatrist. With these sources strength that I have, I now feel obliged to share my experience with everyone out there. I feel called to jot down these major signs of mine so y’all could understand how serious your condition is, had you thought the same about your life.
If you do, probably it’s time to seek the professionals? Not just some ladies talk over a cup of coffee but a professional one with the therapist, psychiatrist, counsellor, or psychologist. Personally, going for vacation or retail therapy doesn’t work for me anymore now. Instead, I need proper help to repair my brain because it has lost a screw or two.
My last “attack” was in late January. So it’s been over a month and that’s a huge achievement Alhamdulillah. So this is my set of indicators. What’s yours?