When I was much younger, I thought wedding reception was marriage. I thought marriage was about a one-day commitment of a couple who dresses stunningly, welcoming their guests at the main entrance of their reception hall. Little did I know that it takes a whole lot of commitment to be continuously in love with your spouse, to still be crazy about him/her, to look forward to seeing him/her at home, to have your heart pounding when seeing his/her face despite the trouble he/she puts you in.
So kids, here are the 20 things I want you to know about marriage:
1.When faced with issues, be patient. Follow your wisdom and not emotions. Be calm.
2. It takes two to tango. You can’t expect him to come home with a bouquet if you don’t make him his favourite meals.
3. Sometimes, it’s better to be a little deaf. Or one-side deaf whichever works.
4. At times, it’s better to be blind. Blinded from seeing the trash that you asked him to throw yesterday
5. Sometimes, it’s better to part ways. You go to your friend’s wedding and he goes to his favourite football match.
6. I know confronting isn’t easy but that’s the essence of communication in marriage. So talk to one another. Prepare your box of tissue beforehand if you knew you’d be crying a river.
7. Trust is also built, apart from given.
8. And if you want to be trusted, you gotta be honest to the marriage.
9. For God’s sake, respect your spouse. Treat your other half the way you want to be treated.
10. Use kind words, no harm being gentle.
11. Never compare your other half with anyone else. “You know, Makcik Bedah’s husband always comes home with cucur badak… unlike you, come home with empty tummy only” This is a no-no and plus, nobody likes to be compared.
12. Marriage is a teamwork, and we all know teamwork can sometimes suck the life out of you. When it does, remain calm and patient. Find a way out of your dispute.
13. Scolding and yelling won’t make things better.
14. Lower your ego. Aplogise when necessary.
15, Even when it’s not your fault, you start the apology. No harm making way for your marriage. Sooner or later, he/she’ll realise how much you want to avoid conflicts.
16. Be considerate. You can’t expect your other half to do the cooking and settle the chores when he/she has little children under his/her nose.
17. The same thing to the other half. Seeing your spouse coming home from work isn’t the right time for you to nag and complain about your day. Wait a little while, at least after dinner. Can you?
18. Happiness in marriage isn’t based on successor only. Instead, it could be your love to one another, the ibadah you do together, the charity work, the donation drive, the dakwah, the contribution you give to the society. All this matter too.
19. Sometimes, you gotta let go of your dreams to make way for your marriage. But if you could, chase it back later!
20. Marriage comes first before motherhood.
This may not be everything about marriage and it doesn’t necessarily depict mine. This is just the basic know-how of surviving in a married life. So all the best my dear kids! I’d say, get a bachelor degree first then only think of tying the knot ya.