Some say life is about giving. While it may mean that you give some pennies to the poor or sharing pizza with your friends, motherhood has its distinctive definition of giving.
Giving, in the eyes of mothers would mean letting go of her dreams to make sure her kids are right under her nose, providing for her family, permitting her children to move the couch so they can play hide-and-seek behind it, allowing her children to play with her make up and shawls and so much more, to the extent that mothers might have lost their direction along the way.
Sharing her concern with other mothers is a big no-no and in fact, it’s a taboo! At least according to the society that she lives in.
So here I am, while trying to avoid my entry from being text heavy, jotting down the 5 reasons to continue loving your children again. The basic reasons that might have slipped out of our minds as we walk through the years of motherhood.
1. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) showed his compassion for children through his hadeeth, Allah’s Messenger used to put me on (one of) his thighs and put Al-Hasan ibn `Ali on his other thigh, and then embrace us and say, “O Allah! Please be merciful to them, as I am merciful to them.” (Bukhari)
This basically says that loving our children is an act from the prophet and following his hadeeth would mean you’re accumulating pahala for yourself. So go ahead and hugs your kids. Even the Prophet did that!
2. Our children’s supplication for us is among the sources of your saviour in the hereafter as the hadeeth says, “When a human being dies, all of his deeds are terminated except for three types: an ongoing sadaqah, a knowledge (of Islam) from which others benefit, and a righteous child who makes du’a for him.”(Muslim and others).
This is a reminder especially to myself to keep my patience high and raise my kids in a way that results in them beinh righteous (insha Allah) and continuously making supplication for me and their Dad when we are 6-feet under. So groom them well, mothers. Let’s love them with all our hearts although I know that might not sound easy especially when you have bills to pay, meetings to attend, dishes to wash and deadlines to meet.
3. They’re going to be our best friends. We are going to have their shoulders to cry on, their back to lie on, and their support to rely on and their matured soul to share stories with. I guess we’ll just have to wait a couple of years more. Till then, let’s wipe their snot and wash their butt!
4. They are depending on us for a life. Yes us, whose lives have already been taken over by the roles and responsibilities of a childminder and inclusive of breadwinner for some. As mind-boggling as it may sound, we are to care for them. Think of it mothers, who else is going to provide the best meal, the best education, and the best values for them apart from us? Who else would bother about our children other than their own parents? So for that reason, let’s continue to love our children again. It gives us a purpose in life.
5. They only want our presence and interest in their lives (at least while they still do). They don’t want the perfect us. They don’t want the billionaire us. They don’t bother about how stinky we smell after coming from work. They don’t mind if tonight’s dinner is the same Chicken Tom Yam. They don’t care if the house is in mess. Because all they want is our time to spend with. So to love those who only want us to be there for them despite the way we look, is pure love.
Yes this may be a little overwhelming so be sure to love yourself first, mothers. Be sure to ditch your guilt and negative thoughts about you are not being a good mother to your kids because that’s a waste of energy. Instead, focus on caring for your health and soul and then your family. Be real, we are mothers. We need a little TLC too. We ain’t robots.