My 2017 motherhood resolution

I decided to continue my 2016’s resolution to next year because none of it has been ticked off!
So here goes,
1. I will try my very very best to smile at my kids when they throw tantrums (because one is currently at this stage and the other will be joining her sister pretty soon). I will try to hug them instead of scolding and listen to what they wish to say (read mumble). 
2. I will allow myself to have charm even during my worst 

3. I aim to be content with whatever is there around me and I know that there will be times when I will only have to eat a bowl of instant noodle for lunch because I should be spending more time on work and not cooking. 

4. I want to be the Mom who doesn’t compare herself with others and make the best of everything she has. 
5. I wish to be an inspiration and listener to more mothers, and let them know that they are not alone in this. 
6. I want to be more vigilant with our financial status now that the kids are growing up and we are gonna need more money for current and future use.
7. I will try to embrace the fact that my kids have been missing me the whole day and coming home from daycare means cuddling and snuggling even if it takes away the remaining energy that is left in me. 
8. I will continue to learn to accept that I am a mother  and it is about constant giving.
9. I will watch my steps because I should have known that they are copying every single thing I say and do, and that, it is scary to be observed and followed all the time. 
10. And finally, I want to be the happy mom by simply enjoying what I love doing. Since I love writing so much, by all means have some room for myself and write!
Now is a really good time to reflect on how far we have gone, as a friend, an employer/ee, parent, spouse and most of importantly, as a slave of Allah. Hoping for a better year ahead insha Allah!
And oh, I finally went to psychiatrist last weekend. I did a short questionnaire on Depression, Stress, Anxiety and the results were:
Extremely Severe Stress
Extremely Severe Anxiety
Severe Depression.
I was taken aback to see the results. Thinking that I am still able to laugh, work and function as a mother, I didn’t expect to be that psychologically ill. So the psychiatrist prescribed me with anti-depressant just enough until my next appointment. Okay lah, I now know that there is still hope to be a mother with normal feelings. Alhamdulillah.

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