The Mommyhood

source: Facebook Finding Joy
This blog was abandoned for a little over a month! Not that I’m drawing myself out of the community, it’s just that I wasn’t really able to put things in words. A lot of things went on in April and May especially my communication class. I named it ProSpeak Home Tuition and it was absolutely AMAZING to be able to share my knowledge and skills on communication.
We all know (and it’s been said quite a number of times on press) that Malaysia’s young graduates are less marketable due to their poor English proficiency. Taking this into account, i had set 2 objectives for my little ProsSpeak Home Tuition which are to develop my entrepreneurship skills and help the society. I’m so glad that i could make my dream come true over the 2 months.
Now that my MBA classes have resumed, i’m taking a break from ProSpeak Home Tuition. I’m not sure whether or not to proceed with this business though because i’m still keeping my options open. Let’s see what my future holds.
Okay back to mommyhood that a handsome of my friends have said that they enjoy reading (thank you so much for letting me know!). There has been a lot of things going on as Nusaybah is really developing the typical 2-year-old behaviours and Nuwayrah is still catching up with crawling practices. I recently read on FB about the normalities of toddlers to hit their younger siblings. I always and always caught Nusaybah red handed trying to beat her adik with toys in one minute and before i realise, Nuwayrah is already crying her lungs out because her kakak bit her right arm. 
CRAZY it may sound, CRAZIER it is for me to handle. 
I am usually torn between anger and patience, 
and confused about who to console first.
Most of the time, the fire in me rages and patience ceases to matter, 
At times like this, I know that I do not possess the temperament neeeded to be a mother of three. I am definitely not the exemplar of Ibu mithali to my eldest. He’s 15 so he must have been watching me went quirky everyday (read struggle) trying to put patience into practice. 
At the end of the day I wonder, what avoidable storm have I got myself into when I could actually take it easy with the petty fighting over toys and the screaming. I too, wonder if I have collected some pahala over raising the kids the whole day (in cases of when their daycare is closed), I am very sure Allah loves me and that’s the reason behind Him putting me in such chaos. He wants to see if I am able to remain composed while handling the situation with preseverance. And if I fail today, He’ll test me over and over again until I finally subdue my anger. 
To be frank this is, by far, the TOUGHEST test i have gotten So I am praying extremely hard for Allah to make it easy for me. I really hope to bid this struggle farewell and enjoy my everyday routine with the kids. They say cherish every moment because kids grow up real fast eyh?
Let’s make dua for each other, parents. It’s Ramadhan, we sure don’t want to miss the special merit!

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