Marriage resolutions, by Pak Utih

Most couples look forward for their next wedding anniversary and will usually plan for a vacation or getaway with just the two of them. No children. No bibik. No nanny and absolutely no work stuff.

Or at least a dinner date that walks them down the memory lane to the first time they met, or when he came to meet her parents, or when he proposed her, or even when they bought their first small apartment. Which was then quiet, clean, empty, romantic and definitely a house to live in. But now with shirts, socks, and pants that are scattered helter-skelter all over the place, the house doesn’t look any better than shipwreck. 

I certainly agree that wedding anniversary can be very very exciting not only about the vacation, but upon realising how far you two have gone. The hurdles, the disputes, the slammed door and the rolled eyes that have been part and parcel of your roller coaster journey.

In fact, it’s fun to be counting your number of years of being together and to look back at how much matured you have grown. How much patience have been yielded. And to discover how true your love to each other is. This is when you realise that marriage has turned you to be more tolerant and understanding but it could also make you the other way around.

To make your wedding anniversary more memorable and meaningful, I would love to share a list of reality check given by Pak Utih in one of his lectures. This is basically about a self-reflection about yourself and the marriage as a team. But y’all gotta be open with whatever comments or compliments from your spouse because after all, s/he sees your true colours every single day.

Alright the first thing that y’all can do is to share your thoughts on :

1. Pengorbananku kepada mu
2. Pengorbananmu kepada ku. 

Once you’re done praising each other and yourself, you shall move on to:

This to go in detail, about :
1. Tabiatmu yang aku sukai 
2. Tabiat lainku yang aku rasa anda suka 
3. Tabiatku yang aku rasa anda tak suka
4. Tabiatmu yang aku tak suka

Number four is the hardest of them all either to say or to accept. But this is for your better marriage in the coming year. This is when y’all can be truly honest to one another without being worried or feeling intimidated provided you guys say it nicely, insha Allah it will end up smooth.

Go for a getaway. a lunch, a dinner, a day out, a vacation and set some time to talk about all this. With hopes and prayers that Allah will bestow upon your marriage His blessings in the dunia and the hereafter.

Happy Anniversary!

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