It’s almost common to have first time mothers saying “Dah jadi mak ni barulah I tahu macam mana rasanya” or “Now I know what my mom feels”. It rings in my head all the time, that why didn’t we get the true colours of motherhood before entering into one? So then I thought, maybe people don’t talk much about it because they tend to Insta and Pinterest how much they miss their baby on the first week of work after confinement, or the typical sayings “Oh I miss being pregnant again” when she just popped her baby last month…. I’ll be like, Yeke rindu nak pregnant? Ke sebenarnya lega sebab baby dah keluar, tak payah nak senak2 perut, cramp2 kaki, constipated, heartburn, and what not??
Okay mothers, from now on, let’s be real and portray the real meaning of being a mom, especially to the future ones. This is just to help them getting a rough idea about motherhood and not letting them be driven away with “Bestnya ada baby! Bestnya pregnant!” without having enough preparation towards it.
Yes, children are qurrata a’yun, penyejuk mata.
Yes, children are rezeqi from Allah.
And yes, with every reward comes responsibilities.
The responsibilities look like this:
1. Oncalls at night and before you realise it’s already 5.30am, you have to get up and be ready to work. And at workplace, who cares if you didn’t get enough sleep?
2. Re-prioritising things in life. If you feel like chilling and watching TV after coming home from work, erm things don’t always work that way now. Because once you reach home, that’s when your hat switches from employee to mother and wife, That’s when your new shift begins. Think of how much energy is there left at 6pm?
3. Weekends don’t always sound “Girls, let’s meet up tomorrow! I’ve got loads to tell!” unless you arrange things well with your spouse or whoever to look after your children. This girls meet up sesh is still important to allow some me time for mothers. We need some room for ourselves.It’s just that, this doesn’t happen as often as before.
4. Getting ready for hangout takes relatively longer time, with milk, and diaper, and napkin and the children themselves to prepare.
5. At mall/eateries, I often felt like “Aku makan apa eh tadi? Macam tak kenyang je” You know why? Perhaps because of how havoc things can turn out when the children get to eat (read: play with) their food.
6. Dealing with tantrum is one of a kind. Cries, throwing stuff, merajuk, refusing to eat, and all sorts of behaviour that annoys you when you still have lots of laundry, sweeping, and washing to do, is GOLDEN. I repeat GOLDEN. And that doesn’t include assignments from office to be submitted by midnight. G.O.L.D.E.N. L.E.G.E.N.D. And what about going through this every.single.day?
7. Accordingly, you really learn to be flexible. The laundry, the dishes, and trash can wait. But the children miss their mother.
8. What about driving? You might not need radio and other stereo equipments now. Believe me, your children’s cries, and fighting to sit next to window, and singing the song/zikr they learnt in school is enough to keep you awake.
9. Weekdays for working moms and dads be like, first bathe, second wakes up the children, queue them up for shower, and suddenly one of them pooped and accident occurs, and it’s already 7am, gotta send them to school/daycare. Huh? Where’s my morning coffee? Buat sendiri dekat office nanti.
10. The worry behind sending them off to school/daycare: Are they fine, are they making friends, are the teachers treating them well, are they learning good things there ..and the list goes on.
Above all, it gets back to Allah. To return back all your worries, and troubles, and happiness to Allah. You do your part and let Him handle the rest. Insha Allah. With the responsibilities on my shoulders I guess, reaching His blessings and redha isn’t easy as before, But I’m learning to accept that He puts me in situations that I can handle. Well like someone said, “Faith is trusting Allah even if you don’t know what His plan is”