25, Mommy and no money

The other day I drove back home feeling sick with a plastic bag on the dashboard ready to be grabbed.  Alhamdulillah the traffic from Shah Alam to KL was smooth and as I reached my daughter’s daycare centre,
“Uhuk, uhuk, uhuk, bluerghh!!!”
There goes my lunch. Hyperemesis gravidarum really gets on my nerves.  It’s excessive vomitting while being pregnant. 
I didn’t realise some of my nasty puke dripped from the plastic bag until my fingers accidentally touched it.
Disgusted, I grabbed another plastic bag. Alhamdulillah there were two of them! I stopped vomitting just before it went full and spill out from the bag. Next thing I did was tying them all tight, placed them under the seat.
Chilled for a few minutes.
Stepped out of my car.
Put on a happy face, and fetched my daughter. 
Post-puking is a big relieve, and this has been my early pregnancy routine since I was pregnant with my first daughter. Yes you’ve guessed it, i’m expecting. Four months to be exact, at 17 weeks.
In case you’re wondering, pregnancy isn’t a bed of roses for some mothers and i’m inclusive. In runs in my blood that we will go through 2 to 3 (and sometimes the whole 9) months of morning sickness and I must admit, it is psychologically and emotionally challenging especially that you can’t do much about it. Worse, it affects your performance at work and at home. Tell me about headache and lying in bed all day long. We can’t help it that the laundry is left undone, and no breakfast at the table, and last night’s dishes are still there untouched.
I’m going through this, again.
Tell me about being stuck at home and not going to work/class that you have to take 3 months unpaid leave because you wouldn’t be able to do a thing at office.
And there goes your friends having fun time with the weekend outing and getaways.
And there goes your friends, living like most people of your age who have been earning money since they left Uni.
An there you are pregnant with your next child that you are almost clueless to find any possible way that you are ready to handle the pregnancy, labour, newborn again at this point of time.
And there you are feeling unsecured about where you future heads.
“Alah, kena mengandung lagi ke?”

“Alah, kena sakit bersalin lagi ke?”

“Alah, tak habis study lagi ni. Kalau bersalin rosaklah study plan aku”

Ever felt this way young mothers?
Yes, kindly nod together. No harm, I feel you.
I understand that pregnancy, bearing a child, are all rezeqi from Allah. And yes, it is an ultimate blessing for a married couple to be having them. I totally agree with this.
And I too, agree, for moms to please stop (or at least, reduce) complaining about being tired with pregnant and raising children because I’m sure that deep inside, you are glad that Allah bestowed upon you amazing children to brighten your days and nights with their screaming and jumping and fighting over the pizza, are you not?
And I understand that it is rather disturbing for the ladies who have been waiting for children for the past 10 years to see mothers with their complaints, am I right?
And here I am, requesting for some room to lend my hand assisting those mothers who are currently in my condition. Just a small space to motivate myself before them, to share the “burden” of being sick when you are not ready for it, to let them know that hey, it’s not so bad after all.
I appreciate your consent. Thank you ladies.
As for young mothers, that I personally define as 25 and below, chin up! Although you can’t do much about being sick, lethargic, constipated, cramped and swollen leg, and heartburn, keep in mind that it’s not long before you pop your baby out.
It’s not long before your (future) newborn is eating and pooping all by himself.
It’s not long before you miss being pregnant again to feel your baby kicking inside, to go for another ultrasound and check on his heartbeat, to be pampered with food and to enjoy all “KHAS BUAT IBU MENGANDUNG” commuter/LRT seats and any parking lots (amazing! hahah!).
In fact, based on what I picked up in conversations, most women who gave birth at a relatively young age are “relieved” that they already have children as they reach 30. And they are glad that as they reach that age, their kids are already playing by themselves although they still bother you for some hot chocolate and Paddle Pop ice cream. Kids, being kids. It’s like, “Thank God I went through taking care of newborns years before and there they are helping me with the little ones now”
Okay fine, be real.
That is when you reach 30. But what about now? What about this current pressure that’s been squeezing your life?
I’m sure people acknowledge your current state. I mean, it’s a tough job to handle an infant/ a toddler while being pregnant with your second child. It sure does “kill” your body that you haven’t fully recovered from the back pain of first labour and here you are bearing another baby in your tummy.
I would say, have someone to talk to.
Insha Allah, they’ve got something wise to tell you. You just gotta listen to them, they’ve been living this life 20,30 years before you could even walk.
This trial is making us wiser,
This challenge is turning us matured,
This phase of life is preparing us for more to come, although I don’t really see in what ways (to be perfectly honest) 
This is part and parcel of life that we might find it extra hard, simply because we are still young. We don’t know any better.
We just gotta be patient.

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2 thoughts on “25, Mommy and no money

  1. AS says:

    Hi Zayana, I came across your blog and I enjoyed reading your amazing stories. Interested to collaborate? Email me at nurul.aini@zalora.com.my. I couldn't find your email so I am leaving a comment to u. Hope to hear soon. Thanks! Ps: this is NOT a spam yah haha 🙂

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