Dan Kami perintahkan kepada manusia (berbuat baik) kepada dua orang ibu-bapaknya; ibunya telah mengandungnya dalam keadaan lemah yang bertambah-tambah, dan menyapihnya dalam dua tahun. Bersyukurlah kepada-Ku dan kepada dua orang ibu bapakmu, hanya kepada-Kulah kembalimu. (Surah Luqman: 14)
antunna : kamu perempuan (banyak) a.k.a you girls
Alhamdulillah, I received a few feedbacks from my dear friends saying that they enjoy reading my “motherhood rant” and I take that as a compliment, Thank You korang!
I wish to be a breather of faith into our motherhood lives, that my dear friends who are yet to do more research in motherhood and marriage will get to do so from my writings. I’m being perfectly honest in my entries because I do not want to be the typical Malay type of giving reviews saying things are great and awesome when the truth is, reality is a pain in the a**.
I would also love to keep reminding mothers out there, who have been striving in this journey, that you are not alone in this. That you might not be seeing your friends as often as before but believe me, they are all, too, finding it hard to breathe. That they too, cried at the back of the door because things don’t fall into places. That they too, shed tears because being pregnant is just exhausting. That they too, woke up at 3am to feed their hungry baby and then change his diaper because he poopoo while drinking and the baby keeps crying without you knowing the reason why and before you realise it’s already 5.30am that you have to get ready for work. Believe me, we are going through the same story. Okay fine, maybe a wee bit different depending on you and your childrens’ state of health, financial position, working environment etc.
My point is, please mothers, don’t stress yourself up because you have millions of other mothers to talk to, to share stories and to exchange opinions with. It;s just a matter of courage to begin the conversation where people are usually unsure of. Well, let me start off with a story of pregnancy as today’s entry. Insha Allah.
When I was in New Zealand, I remember saying this to my girl friends, that pregnancy is beautiful. It’s magic! I mean, how can a woman’s body work 24 hours day and night to manufacture a baby in her tummy? It’s amazing masha Allah! Plus, pregnant mothers are sexy, by the way they walk, sit, eat, pray. Awwww they’re just so adorable!
Little did I know that if things might look cute and sexy from the outside, it could possibly bring pain, discomfort, heat, imbalanced emotions, disturbed sleep, and cramps in the inside, over the nine months journey. 40 weeks, 10 months actually. Now hang on a second, heat? cramps? discomfort? what do you mean?
Pregnancy is different between mothers,and the pregnancy itself. Some experience severe morning sickness while being pregnant with their first child but the subsequents are smooth sailing. It depends. Rezeqi masing-masinglah ye. This entry is written in general view of pregnancy, based on my personal experience, sharing from other mothers, and my little readings about this particular topic. So here goes.
1. Morning sickenss
Neausea, that you can’t stand the smell of food, liquid dishwasher, your very own washroom, shower gel, toothpaste (don’t be surprised if a pregnant mother tells you she hasn’t brushed her teeth for one week because if each she does it, she’ll vomit), and anything that could trigger you to vomitting. This is the start of quirky behaviour like smelling Vicks and Minyak Kapak because that’s the only thing that calms youdown and bring you to sleep.
This is pedih ulu hati. It feels like minor gastric. Makanlah banyak manapun, you’ll still feel uneasy at your upper andomen. This sucks. It definitely is. Some opt for drinking milk but I have never tried it maybe because of my past experience of having gastric and doctor said don’t drink milk because it’s hard to digest, you’ll put more pressure to your tummy.
This definitely runs in the family, because my aunts and cousin(s) had it. How can you drive and cook when your head is in deep pain? Masha Allah some even managed to drive to work, being stuck in traffic jam and stand long hours of meeting. Allah sajalah yang memberi kekuatan.
At the back of your legs especially, in the middle of the night. Don’t ask me why, it just happens. This means sudden wake ups and pain. You might groan, but it’s okay, go on.
5. Swollen feet
That some need to change their shoes size because of it. Bayangkan macam mana nak berjalan dekat ofis, sidai baju, masak, sapu sampah when you’re having trouble to stand on your own feet. I salute pregnant mothers that go to work like normal, hiding the pain behind their smiles. You ladies are plain awesome. *two thumbs up*
It’s the imbalanced hormonal changes that affect your digestive system. One of my dear friends find this very hard to cope with. I feel sorry for her. Chin up sis, for it’s not long insha Allah.
Even with the coolest temperature that the aircond can offer, the room is still freaking hot! Panas!
The analogy is like this, what would you feel when being in a site (a manufacturing factory for instance) that is currently running their operation? Hot? Humid? Noisy? That is how the body of a pregnant mother feels because we are manufacturing a baby in our tummy remember? So please make way for a pregnant mother because when we say we’re hot, we mean it.
8. Sensitive skin
And all of a sudden you feel itchy the whole body, that you realise your start having rashes. And you can’t go with any jewelleries. Itchy at you tummy is especially because it is slowly expanding. So if you don’t moisturise the skin with cream/lotion/i use the cooking oil extra virgin olive oil, chances are it will get dry and itchy. Please don’t sratch them too hard. You wouldn’t want scars at your post natal.
9. Stretch marks
Every pregnant mothers’ biggest fear. It happens because your skin fibre torn apart. I’m not sure of the exact way to avoid them, but I stick to the olive oil. Stretch marks don’t only leave scars on your skin, but in your heart too. Most post natal mothers will find it hard to accept their new physical appearance especially with the marks here and there. That’s alright, I feel you. Takpe, set in mind yang lepas habis berpantang je, you nak kembali kurus macam dulu!! Sapu lotion halia to burn the stubborn fats, put on bengkong to keep your tummy in place, exercise, watch what your’re eating insha Allah you’ll get back in shape.
10. Thick hair
This is amazing actually, thanks to the imbalanced hormonal changes that your hair is now thick during pregnancy (but loses a lot when you breastfeed). So yeah, enjoy being pretty while you can!
Alhamdulillah, I hope my simple writing will help boosting your spirits up. Remember, whenever you’re feeling down and lonely, the akak meja sebelah who’s also pregnant might be feeling the same. You ladies just have to talk and keep supporting each other insha Allah. As for fathers and husbands, we really need you cooperation in this. We might be acting weird, quirky, panas mengamuk tak tentu pasal and what not but believe me, we need your support and patience over the next couple of months. Please bear with us if we sleep a hell lot and suddenly being picky with lunch and dinner. We just couldn’t help it. Thank you.