Alhamdulillah I’m back again after abandoning this site for about a week. I wasn’t feeling well, I think I had mild fever but since my body temperature wasn’t that high, perhaps it was just another round of sore throat + running nose + headache. Alhamdulillah. And we were lucky it went viral to only Me, Mr.Husband and Abang Ahnaf. Nusaybah was all good. Thank God.
I think I am the most unsuitable person to blog about marriage while holding the “Newbie” title because we have only tied the knot for 1.5 years. I haven’t went through the real hills and valleys of marriage. I have yet to experience looking after an ill husband, or being in-charge of the family’s financial matters if Mr.Husband is unable to work anymore.
Nevertheless, writing is among the things that keep me going because I have to read, or travel the world (at least on facebook), or listen to some inspiring stories from Mom and Dad before I get the urge to blog. Meaning to say, I blog everytime I learned something new even if they are just theories. Hence, just a little sharing from me to you.
5 simple things happy couples do, here goes:
1. Smile! Grin!
Smiling is a sunnah. It means you’ll be rewarded (with pahala) everytime you curve a smile to anyone. Smile even when:
– you just woke up and not knowing what time it is
– you are exhausted because you just had a 4-hour meeting at the office
– your wife’s cooks were not that good (because she’ll be inspired to improve on it)
– the car broke down in the middle of the road (because it is soothing for the husband to notice that his wife is fine with this “weakness”)
I know it must be awkward to give such look to your spouse at 6.30am when you have never done that before, but then, what’s the harm of doing it? She’ll be marveled yes, and insha Allah it will soon be a habit. Trust me. (=
2. Say things nicely
I understand miscommunication is part and parcel of marriage. It sucks I know, especially when your spouse didn’t get your idea and worse, he/she misinterprets it and latter makes assumptions. Even on simple things like “No” would mean a lot when their emotions and thoughts go wild.
So what about turning it into “No thank you, dear. I have already had my lunch” or “It’s okay, I’m still full” or “No thank you *grin*”. So that the message is delivered clearly.
3. Men need their ‘Cave’ and Women need an ‘extra pair of ears’
Many women didn’t get it right, not that their husband hates or annoyed or bored with them. Men just need some time out, no disturb, and let him sink in his own thoughts. (Adapted from Men from Mars, Women from Venus). It’s called “cave” because this is the time where they wish to be left alone in a dark cave, without any interference from the outside world. And what do men do during their ‘Cave’ time? I have no idea.
When Men usually share/discuss on issues for solutions, this is not always the case for women. We just want to be heard, understood, and acknowledged because we know that things won’t change that much even if the husband gave several suggestions to get the problems tackled. Some “nodding” and “It’s okay dear, I understand it must have been awful for you”
Weird eyh? This is how Allah created men and women to complement each other though
4. Lend a hand
– Need help with the cooking?
-Want me to bathe the kids?
– It’s okay i’ll buy the groceries for this week
– Nevermind, let Mama handle that
– Come, i’ll lend you a hand.
These are all soothing even if it’s just passing the kids’ towel to Mummy because they have soaked theirs in the bath tub and Mummy tak larat to climb upstairs and get a new one.
Or, handing over the spanner to Daddy even if he can still reach for it. Little things you know, little ones. It might mean a lot to the spouse.
5. Jama’ah Prayer
It’s like a time out or dating time for Mom and Dad with added spiritual values. Especially if the kids are sleeping or playing by themselves in the downstairs. The wife learns to be a loyal company (when she only prostrates or move to the next position after the husband) while the husband trains himself to be a great leader (from awesome surah recitations).
Insha Allah, with these simple efforts, may Allah grant my dear readers His blessings and love in their marriage.